Growth in Art, Growth in Life

I find that my life and my art mirror each other. A recent reminder is my current situation. I have been trying to become more flexible in how I live, less rigid, and this is creating distress. The way I view life, the way I live life is changing, and this is disturbing. It is hard to be consistent, and always follow my new more flexible way of living. I still flip back and forth between the more rigid and the more flexible me.

What is so amazing is this same struggle is occurring in my art. I have a wonderful teacher who is stretching me to be more loose in my art and to see my art in a different way. It is working. I am seeing more in art than I ever did. I am doing new and different things, and trying my best to grow. However, this growth is causing me great confusion. I love realism, but am starting to look at more "artsy" artwork, and thinking I want to grow to do that. Yet, I don't want to stop doing realism. What I want to do is make my realism more "artsy" somehow, but I don't know how.

Just like my life outside of art, I feel uncomfortable with my art. I don't know where it is going, or where it will end up. I have to have faith that my art teacher will guide me along my journey while I am lost. I struggle to do what I don't understand, but can see, and now feel. I can not think my way to the next level of art, I must feel my way.

Most of the art classes I have taken were classes I could understand with the thinking part of my brain. The lessons on mark making, using color and brushes, and techniques are all good and have all moved my skill set forward to where I am today, but like my life, it is no longer enough to think my way forward. I need to start feeling my way forward.

I am confused about what feeling my way means. Does it mean feeling my emotions toward the subject, feeling the shape in three dimensions (like feeling the shape with my finger), or feeling the effect of the art that is being created, and learning from that, or all of the above and more I still can not understand.

I look at my art lately, and it does not look like my art. I see similar approaches to various masters, but I am missing from my own artwork. This adds to my confusion.

I work hard at being loose, and my teacher reminds me I must not get too loose. It is finding balance between feeling and thinking. Up to now, I have only existed on the thinking side of the continuum. Finding this balance is a difficult task at best.

My eyes are opening in my life outside of art, and my life in art. The journey is full of uncertainty as I fluctuate between how I always acted in the past and how I am learning to act in the future.

The only solution is fearlessly moving into the unknown, being honest with myself about my art, and not letting discouragement take over as my art goes through the same confusion as I am. In the end, I will see myself in my art again, and my art will grow with me. My art can only grow, if I grow in my life outside of art. I can not separate the two, nor would I want to.

As one of my favorite philosophers (Singhe) said "The only way out is through."
My mission is to get through and not give up along the way. This is my artist's path.

The Pitfalls of Plein Air Painting

I was humbled and learned a lot this weekend when I traveled to a Salt Spring Island to paint with my sketching group. There was a mix up, so I ended up driving myself out to the island. I was suppose to meet some of the sketchers in a Ganges, but as it happened, there was another mix up and the group that was suppose to come to Ganges, missed the ferry, and went to Ruckles Park where others of us were sketching. This left me to my own resources in Ganges.

I thought I had spare time, so I took one small side trip to Burgoyne Park, to take some pictures. I then went to Ganges, which had a fair, and a fall festival. No parking in the village, so I had to park on the outskirts and walk into the village. The first foray into the village was a scouting trip to see if I could find a place to paint. This is when I made my first mistake. I took my painting gear on the scouting trip, thinking I would save a trip back to the car. I had my gear in a shopping cart, except for the canvas, and a platform board that attaches to my easel. These items I had in a bag that swung around and generally got in the way.

The gear slowed me down in the crowd at the fair, and getting to the information center. At the information center, I got great information about where to go to paint. The closest spot was on a dead end street on the other side of the village. It was too far to walk to, so I needed to go back to the car anyway.

The next mistake I made was to get a wonderful lunch, but it took me too long to get the check, so valuable time was wasted waiting for the bill. To use the time, I sketched during and after lunch, which helped me pass the time, but it may have given the waiter the impression that I was not in a rush. I loved doing the sketch, but should have reserved the time for the painting I wanted to do.

The third mistake I made was taking too long to scout out my painting spot. I checked out the market and walked the whole village before I decided on the spot the information center had suggested. I spent too much time scouting. I should have been very decisive and moved out quickly for the painting spot.

I drove down the dead end street the information people suggested and found a beautiful little beach at the bottom of the street. I think this spot is only used by local people (like neighbours). I got my gear down to the beach, and set up to paint. I set up about a foot from the water, thinking that should be fine, and started painting. About two or two and a half hours later, I had moved the easel out of the water three times, and my paints and brushes back twice. I almost lost one of the brushes in the water. I just caught it in time. The lesson I learned from this is set up to paint as near to the high water line as I can. If the tide is coming in, valuable time will not have to be spent moving myself up the beach.

This quiet, private beach was all mine for about the first hour. Then one of the neighbours came down from his house to the beach, and I startled him and his child. They walked by quietly, trying not to disturb me. That was very nice of them. Next, a family came down the public access, and I could see they were disconcerted when they saw me, but shuttle by, with kind comments about my painting. Then I met Alan.

Alan is the local homeless person who sleeps on the beach. He stopped and we talked for quite a while. He liked art, and had had friends who painted. I felt as if I was painting on his front lawn, and thought he had a great place to live. I had to stop the conversation though so I could finish the painting. Getting into long conversations while painting can eat up the painting time fast. Another lesson learned.

The last mistake I made was setting up a time to meet with the rest of the club for a critique. I had a deadline, and that caused me to stop painting before I felt finished. I did join them for the critique, but another hour would have made a big difference. Painting would have been more satisfying than sitting for critique and coffee with my friends. I could have brought the painting to the next meeting, and got my critique then as well as my chance to chat with my friends.

Plein air painting is interesting and fun, but it does have its unique challenges. Wind, rain, insects, heat, cold, people, and now I have discovered tides and time. Still the colors are lush, and working from life, inspiring. The mistakes of the past become the wisdom of the future.

Too Busy Means Too Busy

I have been too busy to blog, and am days late in getting this one out. I have been too busy to spend more than 15 minutes each day drawing (though I do break loose a couple of times a week for a few hours of drawing). Too busy to paint (just touch-ups and adjustments to my mostly finished paintings). Too busy to live life, and enjoy being an artist. Yuck!

I have been working hard at trying to increase my art business. I am venturing forth to teach art, as well as increasing the number of shows and competitions, I am trying to increase the number of drawing and painting drop-ins and classes. The business side of art is pressing the bounds of reason in terms of the time I am spending doing it. The business side of art is starting to eat its young (creating art), and I am not happy with that.

I know we are all busy, but I have always seemed to be exceptional busy, and I do not know how I create this problem, but I have a gut feeling that I do. I am struggling with balance. I need money to live, and I need time to create art. There is never enough of either. And then their are friends and family that I really want to see and be with. And what about me time? Time to heal and time to rest?

I am feeling tremendous pressure to do everything, as I keep having to shed activities. I know this is a big transition period for me time-wise. With September, all my usual fall, winter and spring activities are starting up again and this plus show schedules and contests are all coming alive again after summer.

I presume that this is a challenge we all face as artists. It is hard to balance life, and art. Right now I feel I am not doing enough art, and art is the reason I do the other things. I just have to put first things first, arrange my life around creating art, and then arrange the rest of my time to do the things I need to support my creating art. I have to get into my artist mindset, and out of my everyday mindset. What is life without art? Empty.