In Awe

I did not post a blog last week, and I regret that. I wanted to, and sat down to several times, but got interrupted and never did so I made this week's blog a top priority. Having done that, it is amazing that I just had one of those artistic experiences that puts me in awe.

My neighbor came over and asked if I wanted to go to coffee. We went to the local coffee shop and got our coffees, but I could see my neighbor was restless. Excess energy, something. We decided to take our coffee out to a local park to walk and enjoy the views.

My neighbor and I are very close friends, and were walking in companionable silence. The park is Whiffen Spit in the village of Sooke, British Columbia, Canada. The spit is between the harbor and the Straits of Juan De Fuca. This morning there was a dense fog over the water-the spit was engulfed in it. I felt as if I was in my own little world, safe and sound. It was very beautiful - mystical, as you made out the shape of some boats through the fog, and could see the seabirds clearly. I have done this walk many times before by myself, but having a friend with me made it more companionable and relaxing.

What I found as I walked along in silence was that I felt in awe of what I was seeing and feeling. I could smell the salt water, feel the cool ocean breeze, hear the crunch of gravel under my feet, and see the sea grass waving in the wind. Each step revealed a new and beautiful vista that just begged to be painted.

Then the revelation came. I could paint for the rest of my life, and paint with my utmost skill for each and every painting, and never even start to reach the beauty of what I was seeing and smelling and feeling. I felt in awe of all the beauty that surrounds me and that I take for granted each and every day. I often laugh at myself when I go to sketch a very beautiful bay, and say to myself disgustedly "not another wonderful scene with sailboats, mountains and beautiful water." I have become jaded to the beauty that surrounds me and overlook so much of it in search of that perfect scene to paint.

My awe gave me great comfort. I can paint and draw for the rest of my life, and my efforts will be no more than a drop of water in the ocean of beauty surrounding me. The real gift of my art is that it is teaching me to see that beauty, to appreciate it, and to incorporate it into my being by painting my feelings towards it.

I find that I often get frustrated at my lack of ability no matter how good I get. I am learning a lot and very quickly, but what is left of my life is just not enough time to even come close to what I want to achieve. This is the curse, and the blessing of art. I will never run out of challenges, or beauty, but I will never even approach capturing in my paintings the beauty and feelings that have so awed me.

The solace I get from all this is that somewhere, somehow, my paintings will convey what I saw and loved to another human who did not have my experience, and in that way I can convey the marvels of my world to others. Words could never begin to convey my feelings the way painting can.

This gives my life purpose and my endless practice at drawing and painting purpose. Art will challenge me for the rest of my life, and help me appreciate the world around me. Sharing my art with others will pay back to some small degree the joy I have gotten from the sharing of other artists throughout the centuries with me.